Judging from the behaviour of my MSN these few months, I don't know if it's reliable enough to get my message across.

Firstly, thank you. I know you're not trying to be kaypo and pry for stories only. But there are certain things I won't say, just like you have certain secrets you would prefer to keep to yourself. Personally, I don't see that as a point of conflict with our going together on a holiday.

However, rather honestly, I think knowing that we'll be going away but still going ahead to organize another trip is a little quite hurtful. I know we're standing on two different grounds, so you have your opinions and I have mine skewed to my advantage. But it's just like you're trying to organise a soccer game, and from the start you've invited me along because you think I am really important and you'd like to have a jolly good time together, and we're all in the midst of discussion, but because I don't like soccer, instead I just suddenly go and organise another outing and get a few of your kakis to go with me. Of course, it's not entirely parallel cuz seriously I respect that nobody should be forced to spend unnecessary and unhappy money, and furthermore, I don't need a certain number of ppl to go shopping with me... but aiya you know I've always been very bad with this type of writing so make do la huh, so hopefully you get what I mean.

And knowing we're going to have an event but still going to organize another one on the same day is not being very helpful to the person trying to coordinate everything. It's okay to not be the one planning, because we all know you've done enough over the years alr and it's time for sleepers like us to do it now, so there's no need to apologise for this type of things. Nobody is complaining, and I probably should be keeping my mouth shut, but I just think it'd be nicer if we can do whatever we can to make the lives of the ones we love easier? I know we're always very slow and draggy in decision-making and it's really a test of everyone's patience which sometimes ends in a waste of time, but there are somethings we know will happen and everyone is trying to make time in midst of all the buzz because, I assume, we are (very good) friends and as friends we'd try to think for each other and behave that way.

I'm not trying to tie you in a knot and restrict you to making friends and hanging out together only with the 10 of us. I also know that there are many other friends outside the 10 of us who are far more interesting and fun to be with. But I know it's not easy for 10 different entities to be walking down 10 years together. We're each not perfect, and definitely not as a whole either. But it's knowing that through these years we've cared for and supported each other through various tough and joyous situations in our lives, and to me this type of common understanding about eachother is rare as gem. So even though there are many other friends that I've met after theloks, many of whom are more interesting and at times I feel were able to understand certain segments of me better, I still place us in very high regard. It's not like placing ourselves on a pedestal just for the sake of doing so; it's like despite knowing many great people outside, how you'd always place your family in the first place, because.